The journey, Facebook and light

Oh god that's a corny title, remind me to change that. I can't get used to my therapist saying I'm on a "journey". She means it in the context that I'm having to rediscover the old me. I always end up thinking of a shite band and glee. She's right though, it's a bloody long road to recovery, but with each CBT session, the bends straighten out and I can begin to see the horizon again. Eurgh psychobabble!
The first 2 sessions went well, I found new enthusiasm for things, I even booked a job lot of driving lessons. By session 3, I'd cancelled the lessons, I was irritable, the wife was fed up and of course I deactivated Facebook. This is my go to whenever I get low. F--k Facebook.
Yup, that's reasonable. Shut yourself off from people who are there for you, but dammit, people now care on Twitter too? When did that happen? So I ignored Twitter for a bit until my mate would tweet about Scott Redding just to get me to bite. It always works too. Bloody Rossi (@RossiHutch) . If I'm on Facebook you can work on the theory I'm reasonably happy.
As well as knocking Facebook on the head, thinking those very black thoughts and cancelling driving lessons, my old mate bipolar started rearing her head. Now "Bipey" is a woman coz she gives me high highs and low lows and ends up costing me money. In this case, the credit card took a hit and I got an electric drum kit. However, Bipey got the shock of her life because the kit gave me both a release and fantastic time with my kids. I get to teach eldest how to drum (Although I know of bands who'd question my own ability) and watch youngest 2 beam as they hit the toms and snare.
You see, that's why I believe in fate. A few years ago my wife and I separated, it was horrible and I'll avoid talking about it now, but fate wasn't having it. We were clearly soul mates and we're back and stronger than ever.
This time, I got low, I bought drums, gave me a temporary high which turned in to a permanent positive.
I'm beginning to find strength in things more and more, and yeah I wobble more than Boris Johnson's stomach, but I get back up. I have bad days, and even now I won't wish those on my worst enemy, but I refuse to cower to them. Through a combination of drive to get through it, and not giving an odious little twat at work the satisfaction of going sick, I do get through them.
It's a journey after all, and I'm from Norwich, where every journey takes a long time.

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