Another awareness day

 A lot, and I mean a lot, of people will always tell you how you should behave, what you can do to improve your mental health. Some mean it in a good way, some are self proclaimed experts.

Personally, I’m neither. I’m a service user, that gives me experience to help, but not dictate to. I’m also in my final year of a degree in psychology and counselling, but that only gives me the tools to help. I want to make a difference, because a walking text book has often been my experiences of mental health services.

However, I’m also a service user with a degree in mental health based things, but I’m also a man who has recurring suicidal thoughts. Thoughts where I almost fantasise about how people would miss me when I’m gone. Some expert eh?

This time of year, with mental health awareness days etc (a day? So I don’t have to be aware any other time? We should always be aware) you will hear a lot about the services out there and people who can help. Take it in. You never know when you may need it. Your brain may be screaming “fuck them, they don’t know me”, and they don’t, but equally people will want to try and support you, just remember that. Breathe. Look at that well meaning “pretentious” meme you saw about mental health. It’s actually makes sense if you step back. 

This is a weird blog, considering I’m a mental health campaigner, but equally I’m not gonna sugar coat stuff. This shit is hard, and suicide seems a sweet release. That’s bollocks though. Look hard. There’s probably something to aim for to get through these periods. 

I’ve never disclosed this before but I have these targets to stop me doing something bloody stupid. The worst period is between January and April because between Christmas and my eldest’s birthday, I don’t have anything to look forward to. (Yeah my birthday is in march but hate my birthdays, but that’s a neuro thing, and a whole other faulty part of the brain). I try and book gigs or events that I can aim to get to and enjoy. That may not work for you, but it helps me coz if I can get through this then there’s an enter shikari gig or a cold evening away to Gelding Miners Welfare to look forward to.

I guess what I’m saying is find your way of dealing with mental ill health. Don’t discount something because everybody else thinks it’s great and so you should too. Take a step back. See if it does work for you. If not, something else will. 

Oh and people will say talk, and that’s proven to work, but only for those who want to. Some of us just write down things, so we don’t have to talk to you personally, but express our illness anyway.

Keep smiling. 

Peace 💚