An update
This is embarrassing to write because I have always prided myself on being strong in the face of my mental health, but after months of facing adversity in my life, and overcoming it, last Saturday I cracked. My wife asked a simple question as I walked in to the kitchen, “are you okay?” and that was it, I broke down. As ever, she was a tremendous support, and although it felt better to let it all out, it just papered over the massive cracks in my mental health. I carried on, another week at work, I had to keep going, I don’t want to let people down. However, every day it felt like my heart was trying to jump out of my chest, I was teary, forgetful and irritable. It’s like a depression full house!! I lasted until the Sunday. I wasn’t in any fit state to go to work, but I was trying to act normal, put on that front! My train failed. Not unlikely in the current state of the railway, and I remained professional, even helping another guard with their train. Got on the bike. Came h...